Would you let your partner look through your mobile phone?
This weekend I went to see a new French film called ‘le jeu’. Having heard about it on the French radio, the subject seemed intriguing so I thought I’d give it a watch.
In short, the plot involves a group of friends and their partners who are at a dinner party together. One of the guests proposes a ‘game’ where they all put their phones in the middle of the table and any calls, texts, social media notifications they receive during the evening, get to read/hear by the entire group. Inevitably, a lot of tea is split, involving one guy who turns out to be homosexual but had never admitted it, infidelities and family problems amongst other secrets.
The film raises the question about the role of the mobile phone in relationships in today’s age. Would you be prepared to let your partner look through your phone or not? It often seems that we would like to know what the other person could be hiding but aren’t prepared to let them see what we potentially might be. I tend to think that our phone has become in a sense our ‘secret garden’ and that for this reason it should remain for our eyes only. That being said, it does throw up questions about how modern technology has facilitated cheating and led to its rise today.
It has never been easier to cheat and not get caught. A few sexts here and there, a few snaps that then get erased, are all things which simply did not exist 50 years ago. Back then, had you wanted to have an affair, you wouldn’t have been able to call the landline because you’d have risked the other partner uncovering all.
In addition to this, the mobile has made us become more aware of the amount of ‘choice’ that exists out there. By this I mean, especially with regards to social media, that the grass has never seemed greener than on the other side. There’s SO much choice. Too much choice which has led us to undervalue and underinvest in our relationships, particularly romantic ones. Social media portrays people as increasingly disposable. Things aren’t going well with your partner? Look at all these other people out there that you could have and sack them off!
People don’t fight when the going gets tough anymore, why fix the window when you can buy a new house completely, ay?
I’m not slating social media completely, but I do recognize how it has completely fucked up relationships.
It goes further than this though, who hasn’t gone to check when the person they’re interested in was last online to see if they’re ignoring you? See if they’ve left you on read, opened your snap or seen whose photos that person has been liking? It’s added a new dimension to relationships which means what one partner would accept another one wouldn’t. Liking another person’s photo might be a cardinal sin to one, and not bother another in the slightest.
Has it impeded us from building meaningful connections with others that truly stand the test of time? And most importantly, would you let your partner search through your phone?